"Reuptake Alcohol, Delusional Effects"

    I will become power. The cocaine will keep me awake and enliven the best that is within me. And the drink, it will calm me. The cocaine will help me remember and these blackouts will end. I lived there somewhere, sometime. When?

    The memory of desire, the dream of desire, but never desire itself. Desire is not in this now. This fine, white line of white powder, white power, fine line, fine wine. It is not mine. This memory of desire is not mine. Is mine. Is not mine.


from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 29)