"The New Normal"

    Forty days so far and people are mostly missing from my text. Many of the people in my notes and my outline are missing. I seem to get caught up in my own story (and lack of story) and lose track of those around me. Such a curious lack of people in my adult life. Not many people here. My alcoholism had become a kind of solitary confinement.

    People were lost elephants in the rooms of my alcoholic insanity. Solitary in a crowded barroom. An empty glass.

    Insanely alone with my alcoholic infusions, confusions. Yeh, well, maybe tomorrow will be another day, a different day, a new day.

(Vatchi): You spoke too soon, Sotto. No sooner do you mention other people when Jim chimes right in. It's almost as if he has read your mind. I was unaware that Jim even has an outline for his ramblings. That's a shocker. He has an outline? Can you imagine if he didn't?

    He thinks there's an order to this shit?

    Compared to what? His own insanity? Maybe.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 40)