"Phantom Toes Wiggling"

   From alone with the bottle to alone without the bottle. I could not be alone, alone. I could not be alone. I could not be. I could not.

 

   The death of one part of me to allow the life of another part of me. Ritual sacrifice. I've got blood on my hands from this phantom beast who will not die. This near death to prevent more death.

 

   This life thing will take some time. This sober thing. This thing.

 

Evening Meditation:

 

 

   I was Peter's Sponsor in our Twelve Step Recovery Program. Once he said to me, "Jim, every day I pray that I never have to go back to prison." "Pray instead," I said "that you learn how to stop doing the things that put you there."

   “Talk doesn’t cook rice.”

Chinese Proverb

 

Question for Today:

 

   Is there always a lesson to be learned? Relate or relapse? Is that my lesson? Is?

 

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 65)