Petrified

    The Librium wore off. The after-effects of alcoholism are lingering within me these many years later. Coming of Age. Now. Coming to terms with my disease. Now. Learning to live. Now. To struggle. Now.

   It seems like the world around me is changing. But I am also changing as the world changes around me. I'm thinking of Charles Darwin's assertion that it's not the strongest or the smartest species that survive, but those which best can adapt to change. And sobriety is the biggest change this dyed-in-the-wool alcoholic faces.

   When I drank, I slowly turned to stone, a fossil. Each molecule of me replaced by a molecule of alcohol. Petrified in that true sense, replaced by alcohol, bit by bit.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 55)