Alcohol Deficit Disorder

    To try to tell the story of my life, I see there is no story to tell, just episodes united by the disease of alcoholism. Selective recall. I doubt hypnosis would reveal much more of note as most memories were never formed in the first place during my nearly daily blackouts. Artificial excitement, emotions raised and lowered by drugs and alcohol. Opportunities pursued drunkenly or not at all.


    Sometimes I wished I could stop, but I never thought I could stop drinking. Half of my Tower of Babel was my alcohol-induced inability to understand, A.D.D. (Alcohol Deficit Disorder) "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday to stop my alcohol deficit today."

    "Time takes time” because so much damage has been done.

Evening Meditation:

    I do not belong to yesterday. Yesterday belongs to me. I can own it sober or it can own me drunk. Side effects of sobriety may include humility and meditation. Caution: the intersection of solitude and a sense of belonging may result.

 

 

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 36)