Jim's Path...

(Surimi): Sotto, you say, "Jim, don't include this." Vatchi, you say.... Never mind. Both of you. Cut the crap. Neither one of you realize how close you are to the truth. I think Jim wants to exclude himself from his own story, in a way at least. He wants to write it down to expose it. He wants to speak it as a way of letting go. In a strange sort of way, letting go of himself, his story, is a way of letting go of his addiction.
 
    If he could know this, then he would learn that he is already on his way.     His path is the path that he is on.
   
   I do not know where Ted ended up or Cheryl or Bob or almost everyone from my most alcoholic path. My most vivid memories are no more accurate than my most twisted memories. Alcohol played tricks on me, twisted, vivid tricks. My alcoholic brain is all that could remain. Most of my drinking past consists of loose ends which will never be tied again or understood. My alcoholic loose ends will be forever loose ends. The only reality I have is to keep moving forward.
      This is sobriety. This is now. Play it forward, pay it forward.
 

Evening Meditation:

   Emotions flowed through my veins like alcohol. Emotions caused by alcohol.
Emotions distorted by alcohol. Emotions deadened by alcohol.

 
    I did not flow through alcohol today.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 32)