Instinct for Survival

    And now I must survive myself. My emotions, hollowed out by my addictions, have survived. I cannot now separate myself from living, from living sober, from moving forward, from learning how to feel again, this time, this time, not under the influence.

   My instinct for survival has, for now, overpowered my addictions.
    I cannot do this alone. I will not do this alone. I must not do this alone. I am not alone. My disease is inside me.



from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 34)