Free and not free.

　　 The young, teenaged girl, physically malformed, suffering from a severe brain disorder, stood outside the port-cochere at Trump Plaza. Somehow left alone for a very few moments as I happened to walk by, she had the composure and the demeanor of someone exquisitely rich, from the upper stratospheres of class, a Kennedy or Vanderbilt, perhaps. Her wealth, inherited, could not be hidden behind her obvious physical and mental deformities.

　　 I have survived this day and my alcohol addiction and wish only to quietly pass by her, rich in my disease, my deformity. I succeed, finally, to pass by her equally noticed and not noticed, equally proud, free and not free.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 88)