A Fire from within....

        Loving to drink. Living to drink. Dying to drink. Dying from drinking. This is the progression of alcoholism. Wanting to live. Learning to live. Loving to live. Living with love. This is the progression of recovery. Alcoholism, a progressive disease, requires a progressive solution, a program of recovery (like a 12 Step Program).

 
　　 I have been motivated, inspired, filled with gratitude. This is affirmation arisen from despair.

 
　　 Recovery seems to be broadcloth made from these interwoven threads of motivation and inspiration, a fine tapestry. I want to wear it like a loose-fitting garment. Most of the time meditation and prayer only seem possible in stillness and in silence, but sometimes they seem to linger with me as I move and speak.

 
　　 This is part of the reason why it can be said that gratitude is an action word. It is not only something you reflect upon, but something you carry with you, a fire from within that is to be shared.


from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 82)