Monday, June 25, 2012

How Chapter 35 ends....

Brought to my knees once again, A defeat in my present. A leftover from my chemically defeated past. I cannot let my past succeed in defeating me again.

My leftover, hung-over, sideshow, freak show is the language of self-destruction and alcoholic destruction, pure insanity, purely insane, insane, pure.

Help.

Help me. Someone help me. Someone help me help someone. Help someone. Someone help.

I have proven to myself again and again that 'addicted to chaos' is another form of denial. Sobriety was such a rude, uncomfortable and painful awakening. My addiction wants me to continue down the familiar path of more: a rock, a hard place, trapped.

“When things go wrong, don't go with them.” - Anonymous

 

Can and should the healing ever be complete?

 

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 35)



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