All That Glitters

   In the past all my coping skills were wrapped up in alcohol, like chocolates wrapped in tinfoil. The only tool in my toolbox was alcohol. My old toolbox is 100% poison. I am 100% alcoholic. I can never drink again. And the anxiety of 'never' makes me want to pick up. The anxiety of 'always stay sober' makes me want to pick up. "Always" and "Never" are too absolute. The only absolute I ever knew was Absolut Vodka.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 30)