Up In Smoke

   So much is known and so much unknown about addiction and recovery. But I do know this much: If my very first rehab had not allowed me to continue my addiction to smoking as I tried to remain sober, I most likely would have bolted out of there, no fourteen day stay. I would have left, I would have smoked, I would have drunk, and I may have died.
   Trial and error is frightening when you confront the fact that one small error can change the entire course of your life. Today, not drinking and not smoking are mutually reinforcing. Lose one and I would most certainly lose both.

   I did not smoke or drink today.



from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 44)