Virtuous effects compounded....

“No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

Friedrich Nietzsche

Stagnation = Relapse

Addiction is a God. Worship. Fear. Ceremonies. A culture. A belief. Idealized. Idolized.

I truly feel as if I have turned some mysterious corner here.

No one has pronounced, “Let there be Light!” or anything of such Biblical proportion. But here is a certain lack of darkness, barely felt and the darkness, complete darkness is gone.

Now, at last, sobriety is becoming familiar.

(Sotto): Vatchi? Who is the God of my addiction? Where is this God, Vatchi? Where can this thing called God be found? Vatchi?

I've tipped the scales between my addiction and a better life. My God, which was addiction, is now my demi-god, forever struggling for a return to power. The God of my addiction has not been replaced by a Santa Claus God or an Easter Bunny God or any God Whatsoever. Sobriety Itself whispers in the wind and I heed its call.

I've tipped the scales between my addiction and a better life. I now favor a philosophy of living clean derived through my desire to survive.

I hold that thought, then gently let it drift on by...

(Vatchi): Virtuous effects compounded, Sotto. (cont'd...)

 

 

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 71)