Is all of this doing me or
anyone else any good? Should I care? Should I persevere? Do I really need the
help of others to stay sober today? I did before, but do I still?
Sick of myself. Sick of my disase. Go
ahead. Paste your hatred on me. Use
those childish scissors so that you do not hurt yourself. Paste your hatred on
me. Cut dark red, dark blue and dark green construction paper. No yellow, never
any yellow. Open that big, white plastic jar of white glue, dried on top from
exposure to the air. Use that horse hair brush to break through to that soft,
white, gluey center beneath.
Paste your hatred on me. Use short brush
strokes. Paste it until you can taste it.
(Sotto): Gone. I’m outta here.
He's crazier than a bedbug. How did he get this way? This can’t be good. Can't
be.
There is too much hatred in the world. Hoping,
wishing it were not so would not change that. I have my doubts that praying
could change things. Is there power in positive thinking? Maybe not for
the world. But, maybe for my world.
from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 58)
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