Escape to Reality

Negotiating the twists and turns of sobriety is not easy. Alcohol magnifies or diminishes or twists all reality for me. There is no balance, for me, in the drink. The useful tool that it once was, was short-lived turned long and twisted.

The progressive punishment from alcohol sold me on A.A. as my means of escape to reality, then alcohol blind-sided me once again, then again and again, into thinking I could somehow gain control over it, somehow, someway.

No way.

The irony of painkillers causing pain does not elude me. I value my sobriety today.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 73)