'this loose-fitting garment'

　 I cannot chase (must not) this dream, this sobriety. To chase sobriety is to chase the next drink. Doing push-ups for the next drink.

　
　　 This is not a chase. It is an embodiment. I must enfold it as it enfolds me. Gently. Sobriety, 'this loose-fitting garment.' This I must have, and the word 'must' destroys it and the word 'have' destroys it.

　
　　 Like a snowflake, sobriety melts upon my tongue. The hundred states of water. And life. The vessel that contains it. And movement, the silence that describes it. And colors that reflect it.

　
　　 I did not drink today.

　
　　 Serenity. This silence of letting go.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 85)