"Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right." -
Laurens Van der Post
Compulsively focusing on others can really be used as a form of procrastination, of denying my own problems, of working on my own steps towards recovery....
Gripped with fear, my anxiety attacks return. My fears have been spelled out in the nightmares others are living. My drunk dreams explain me. I feel separated.
Night sweats, drunk dreams. Like a wild locomotive with no breaks. Noise- white noise, black noise- Adrenaline. A drunken grip my drunk dreams hold on me. The nightmare reality of what reality was like. Insane drunkenness. The abyss of drunkenness. Anxiety unbound....
from All Drinking Aside: The Destruction, Deconstruction and Reconstruction of An Alcoholic Animal (Rough Draft, Chapter 84)
met someone just like yesterday...an horribly ugly know it all. there's nothing worse. I'd venture to guess he's feeling very separated.
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