Harmony

(Surimi): .... What looks like acting out is still the drink talking. Sober, yet the ghost of a drink still speaks. The blood has dried. His bruises gone. This ghost has bones, Sotto. His disease is alive, Vatchi. He is quite ill. He has poor judgment or no judgment at all.                 Alcohol is unjust, self-justifying. Finding harmony after so many years of addictive discord makes me think his chances are slim. 'Bleak' and 'Optimistic' seek some common ground, balance. His road ahead seems incongruous, an impossible nightmare to the alternate universe of his addictions.
   I did not choose to be an alcoholic, nor was I chosen. What I once thought was a curse has turned out to be a blessing (so long as I don't pick up). I am discovering unblazed trails of sanity in my recovery (sounds nuts, doesn't it?). Unblazed trails of sanity? No wonder I can't drink.


from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Day 4)