Everything is as it seems. I could not find my dream.

   When I drank, it was not self-sabotage, I thought. The drink did that for me. But what was underneath each drink is slowly coming through in my sobriety. There are flakes of sabotage and the unpeeling of emotions. Much to unlearn. I have much to learn and much to unlearn.

from All Drinking Aside (Rough Draft, Chapter 6)