In My Case: Are You Alcohol?

Or A Dry Goods Accompaniment?

I Am No Longer Pavlov's Dog.

I will not salivate (or drink) upon this New Year's chime.

The Power of Advertising

The Power of Alcohol

I can't make up for time I've lost,

but I can live more in the time I've left.

Dosage Varies Daily

More is not always better.

I never wanted to stay home...

...until my drinking found me homeless.

The one brain cell that says, "Jim, you can drink safely,"

I imagine looks something like this:

THE LAST BRAIN CELL STANDING.

Blame Self...

(or Blame Others).

Yes, this may help define a "Dry Drunk"

but a certain comfort also comes in admitting that we all have "Dry Days".

Serial Killer?

No. Cereal Killer.

Here is my Fry Pan:

Where is my Irony Bored?

I are an Alcoholic.

Yes, we is.

This Ghost of Christmas Past is Still Haunting,

Just Not Nearly So Much Daunting.

When I Drank I Would Not Need This 'Gentlemen's Cologne'

Because, as it were, I already reeked of Alcohol, Self-Pity and Deception.

Drinking and Smoking can be so, so Social.

Hitting Bottom is so, so Not.

"Shelf-Justification":

If it's on the Shelf, I can fool my Self.

(yes, that is Sarah Silverman)

When Fueled by Alcohol

Any Excuse Will Do.

Dear Lady Gaga,

I think I was born this way.

Before I got sober the first time, I thought getting sober would be like watching paint dry.

Boredom can be a trigger. The pace of sober change will slacken. I will want to test the waters.

Dry drunk. Dry paint. The walls close in. Relapse traps.

Seven years later, it got good.

On My Way to a Meeting....

Of course, this was 20 years ago, so I didn't know I was

On My Way to a Meeting!

Nativity Scene

I was born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania from a long line of alcoholics.

Step One:

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable."

My School of Hard Knocks

(Sobriety Rocks!)

"I was so toasted..." "How toasted were you?"

"I was so toasted I needed a toast defibrillator to revive me."

A roof over my head and...

...someone to blame.

Beethoven's Fifth (not pictured)

Jim's 5th (pictured)

A Life in Balance tends to Stay in Balance.

A drink is never the next right thing.

From Candy to Dandy

My Liquor was Quicker.

Funny Until

The Fourth or Fifth Hospitalization for

Alcohol Poisoning.

Chemical formula for Alcohol.

It's on my Flask. It's in my Flask.

It's in my DNA.