The Drunk within the Drink

"When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place." -- Jimmy Breslin

My Uncle shot red golf balls in the snow.

I shot shots shooting golf balls with goofballs.

It is so easy to Romance a drink.

It is so easy to Romance the consequences of a drink.

My Parents said, "Start Acting like an Adult and We'll Start Treating You like an Adult"

So I took up drinking and smoking.

Should have started with acting.

It Wasn't the Effects of Alcohol



So

much

as

the

side

effects.

In A.A. some call a Relapse "Going Back Out to do More Research"

I Call It Insanity

Drunk Dream

   I saw on television yesterday a report which stated four people in Libya were shot by celebratory gunfire in reaction to Gadafi's death. That gunfire was the "trigger" (pun not intended) for a drunk dream I had last night in which in a blackout I shot at, but missed, a young child in a crowded public space. That dream awoke me at 4:30 in the morning and I woke up, took a shower, read my e-mail and prepared to head out to the laundramat, my usual Tuesday morning ritual.

The point of my dream and sharing it with you are three-fold. Firstly, totally unrelated world events are filtered through my brain and my life experiences. Four innocent bystanders in Libya became the innocent bystanders in my drunken past. Secondly, in real life, I chose to tear up my driver's license when I moved to Atlantic City out of fear that I might strike someone when driving in a blackout. Another small example of always choosing alcohol over any alternative. Alcohol shaped all my decisions for almost 30 years. And thirdly, I can have a drunk dream sober, but I can't have a sober dream drunk.

 

from All Drinking Aside: The Destruction, Deconstruction and Reconstruction of An Alcoholic Animal, Rough Draft

 

e-info: moonshine2sunshine@yahoo.com

accoutrements

They were fun while they lasted.

Different containers for the same poison.

(Alcohol is poison for an alcoholic)

Reality Sandwich:

My Name is Jim and I am an Alcoholic.

"Poor me, Poor me...

...pour

me

another

one."

One Cookie is enough

and a thousand layers of icing
is
never
too
much.

As the mind tricks the eye, so too, Alcoholism is...

"Cunning, Baffling, Powerful"

When the Party was Over....

My Party was never Over. Now, I am Over the Party.

Where there is flame there is Flambé

Where there is alcohol there is Alcoholism.

The Alcohol Drilled Grooves in My Brain through which it would flow like a Snake in the Grass

until it was all that I could know.

Hide the Bottles within the Garbage.

Hide the Lies within the Lies.

It's Been Difficult Extricating Myself From My Addiction.

CAN YOU DIG?

Besides My Professional Drinking Career...

I also enjoyed some leisure activities

As A Child, I would often have to talk things over with my...

BEARTENDER

It's Not the Destination, It's the Journey

Yes, I used to play that game...

but just for today, Jimmy don't play dat.

To An Alcoholic, One Drop is Too Many and A Thousand Never Enough

See What I Mean, Jelly Bean?

Short Order Sobriety

Admit I have a problem. Go to a few meetings. Don't Drink. "Easy," I thought. 

Staying sober doesn't end. It begins. It is a lifestyle. The only end is

relapse.

99 bottles of beer on the wall.... ahem...Rather....

99 years ago the Titanic sank. In sobriety, I've

heard it said that some people's idea of change is rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

98 bottles of beer....

Pomegranate Poison

Any Martini is Poison to Me.

Fear of Change

Even when the direction towards change is clear, sometimes the Devil you know is chosen over direction you don't.

From Cradle to Grave

my life took a detour through the playground of addiction.

How low must you go before you admit...?

Your addiction whispers, "It's not that bad yet... not yet."